Then this afternoon was Landon's 9 month appt. Well, he gained... absolutely no weight! In the last 5 months, he has gained no weight. I am so ... I don't know what word... upset, feel like a failure, worried that it is something serious...
He gained another inch, and his head is still in the same percentage as always. But his weight is now off the chart. That is bad, right? The Dr. said that it is a pretty big deal. So instead of doing a finger prick in the office, we went to the lab to do a bunch of blood work (for a baby) and a urinalysis. I am sure you are wondering how they do a urinalysis for babies... Do they use the diaper and cut a chunk of it out and do some fancy science? No, my friends, it is so much more fun than that! Before we left the Dr.'s office, the nurse put this sack attached to a cup like thing (you know a cup like in mens sports) and the pee is supposed to just go inside and it is as simple as that! Well, the first one came right off and his diaper sucked up all the urine. They tried to put it back on at the lab, and told me that if it came off again, I would have to get another one from the Dr. because they didn't have any there. So, we went to Wegman's to meet James, get groceries, drop off a prescription for Landon's double ear infection and eat dinner (oh man, they have the most amazing pizza!). And while we were checking out, I went into the family rest room and changed Landon's diaper, and of course, it had come off again. So I called the Dr. office (so nice that they see patients until 7pm and we went and got another one. This nurse put it on much better than the earlier nurse did and she gave us an extra just in case. When we got home, Landon ate dinner and what did he do? He pooped! I just thought of the poop probably sitting on the plastic bag thing and looked forward to changing the diaper after dinner. Well, James changed the diaper because I was on the phone and I had to hang up immediately because James just pulled the empty container off. What the heck?! It looked like it had come off, and he just pulled it off. So I am trying to salvage what tiny amount of urine there was when I hear him yelling for the container. By the time I realized what was going on, Landon had stopped peeing all over the place. Nice. So, we have one bag left and we decided to try again in the morning. I am sure I am going to have interesting dreams tonight.
If the blood work and urinalysis come back clean, she wants us to see a Gastrologist (sp?). There could be a bigger problem we just don't know about and he might need surgery, blah, blah, blah (this made me relive the whole hernia surgery day in my mind). And while we are waiting for all of this to get figured out, she wants me to increase my fat intake for breastfeeding, give him cereal at least three times a day (we were doing vegetables, fruit, oatmeal and meat already) and really try the formula. (He absolutely will not take it)
She showed me his growth charts and showed me that his weight started to stop progressing 5 months ago. That is when I started having trouble with my milk. I have horrible allergies and when they act up, my allergy medicine kicks in stronger and I get dried up. If I drink insane amounts of water, it comes back, but of course I had to learn all of this the hard way. So, this is why I feel like a failure, like it is my fault...
Okay, so having given all the info, James is just boggled. He and I both feel like Landon weighs more all the time. (obviously he doesn't) And when ever people see him, they say how big he is. Just today some woman asked if he was like 14 months or something. She was shocked when we told her he is just 9 months old. I started crying in Wegmans and James was consoling me and and he said, "Kista, look at him, he is a fine, healthy, active, tall little boy. There is nothing wrong with him!" I guess, that I would prefer it to be my milk issues that are keeping him from gaining weight than some serious gastrointestinal problem, but then I don't know if I will ever get over this guilt I feel.
I seriously just want to cuddle him and never let him go and I know that hormonally I am over reacting, but that is just how I feel. I can't imagine how parents of really sick children feel.
Okay, I think that I have gotten most of this off my chest and feel a little better.
Can we say, "Pants on the ground, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground!"
(Emily, I think it was funny when you commented about Dylan, when the same thing happened to Landon!)
2 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear about your stress! Landon IS very active (I can tell from your videos)! I'm sure things will be fine.
Firstly, so glad you didn't have much pain and that the new mattress is working out. That is great!!!
Secondly, I have been through something like this before. I got back on the pill with Kari, and it dried me up. Trouble was, I didn't know it, and when we went back for her 6 month check up, not only had she not gained weight, but she had lost 2 lbs. Alot for someone who only weighs 11 lbs. All the blood work showed she was literally starving, and that WAS my fault. She ended up in the hospital, we ended up trading to formula, and she and I were much happier. Needless to say, I have not been on the pill with the other two. However, that being said, I don't think you have all that much to worry about. Landon is a very active little boy. Plus he is eating solids, so he has the opportunity to get nourishment from other places. The fact that he doesn't want the formula means, to me, he doesn't need it. Kari gobbled it up when she was starving. You are doing fine. Don't stress. But, do drink lots of water. Its funny, we pee all the time when we are pregnant, and then we drink enough water when we are nursing to keep peeing. ALL THE TIME :) You are doing great! Keep it up!
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