Changes

Okay, I am going to try and keep this short and positive. There are so many changes going on and I feel like I just can't keep up. I am really behind in posts (of course), but as I have just a moment with my little guy napping, I just need to get some things off my chest so I can breathe.
I am so thankful for all the blessings we have had and are going to have. I really am. I keep waiting for something bad to happen, and I think that is why I can't just relax and enjoy the excitement of everything. Anyways, James leaves in a few days. Wow, just typing that made my eyes water. Whew!
Okay, let me try this again... You know how women LOVE to watch romantic comedies? Well, after a while, I stopped wanting to watch them because then I would get all annoyed that James isn't this super romantic guy. (Any other women out there know what I mean, or am I just a dork?) Anyways, I just stopped watching them and then after a long time, I was able to watch them and just enjoy them for what they were, entertainment, not a comparison of what romance was or wasn't in my life. Well, after chatting with a friend the other day, I had my epiphany. James and I already had our little romantic comedy. There was a couple love triangles, some drama, some girl even told James not to marry me! (Yeah, serious drama) Now, that James is leaving, I know that no matter how much romance there is or isn't (according to whose romantic standards you are using), I seriously got my prince charming!
I have had a hard time this week. It is almost like, when he is gone, I can't breathe right. But when he is home, I am fine. I hope that all of this is just in the thinking about him being gone and not in the actual living it. Obviously, we will find out. I think that having it just be the two of us for so long made us really become as one and now I feel like half of me is going to be gone. I know I will survive and so will Landon. I know that James will for sure. I know, you all think that I am strong and that I will be so glad that I did it when it is over. Yes, I have had all of those encouraging pep talks. Thanks guys. I just hope that this will be my only "sad" post during the entire time that he is gone.
It is funny. My mother in law told me that she was proud of us for not letting losing our job and having to tighten our belts tear our marriage apart. I just laughed and said, you know, I think that Heavenly Father has seen us through enough tests that we were already pretty solid. (Infertility being one of the hardest)
Okay, enough of that. I will be trying to get stuff on the blog next week. I am so lucky that my good friend Candy is flying in today and she will be with me after James leaves. That will help me to keep positive after he drives off. Thanks Candy!
(sorry for all my jumping around, but that is much how like my brain works now a days.